5 Years Later…
It’s been a minute! Quick recap: Technically the 7th contract, but only the fifth hospital I’ve been to, my current assignment is the closest to home I’ve ever been. 14 weeks later, I’ll stay here local at UPMC in York, PA at least until end of July (day before my birthday in fact!). I haven’t exactly traveled far and wide, nowhere fun or exciting, which as a single guy may seem a bit odd since it could be so easy for me to pack up and relocate for a while. That being said, I do enjoy being able to return to what I call home both between shifts and my off days! Definitely has made developing a routine and better work life balance easier, plus with the added flexibility being a travel/agency nurse is greatly appreciated.
So, specs on the current spot: it’s a newer hospital, less than 5 years old, (which I like), though again small with less than 200 bed capacity. Ratios have been good for the most part, working on the telemetry unit I was assigned it’s usually 5:1, sometimes 4:1, rarely 6:1, though the other med/surg & tele units seem to be 1:6 frequently. Nothing crazy or new with acuity, most things even verging on unstable end up in ICU (sometimes with reasonable pushback) so it’s just the usual IV drips., non-rescue CPAP/BIPAP, etc. There is always at least 1 PCA/PCT to collect vitals, blood sugars, weights, etc (with assistance as needed of course). Contacting providers is easy enough, and glad to still be using EPIC. Staff dynamics are… interesting at times. For being a smaller hospital and unit (24 bed), I’ve seen more interprofessional conflict here than anywhere else. Seeing the levels of stress and ways people feel personally affected by their work environment makes me grateful for having developed a good work-related stress management system (a system that includes my role as temporary staff who can more easily avoid said conflicts).
Reflecting and realizing that I graduated from nursing school 5 years ago already, I find myself so much more comfortable in situations, yet worry I’ve become a bit complacent in my role. Every nurse, like every person, has their strengths and areas to improve upon. While I feel confident in my attitude/energy and bedside manner, I know my clinical mind could use some deepening. I’ve learned a great deal and don’t feel incompetent per say, but am starting to realize that without actively pursuing continued learning, whether for updated research or simple “refreshers”, I will be greatly limited. I’ve seen all types of good nurses. Some who know a lot, are a great resource, but struggle with their unconditional and healing presence. Others who shy away from the new and unfamiliar, but excel in bringing comfort or humor to otherwise dour situations. What I imagine makes a great nurse is being able to maximize your strengths while recognizing the areas to be improved and taking actions to do so. Some do the bare minimum, others go above and beyond.
Otherwise, the past few months I’ve been struggling to decide what’s next for me professionally. In a few weeks, I’ll have been a bedside, acute care nurse for FIVE YEARS! I wouldn’t venture to call myself an “experienced” or “seasoned” nurse, but apparently I can no longer call myself a “newbie nurse” either. I remember at my first staff job thinking “after 5 years experience, I’ll feel ready for management, admin, outpatient, SOMETHING different.” While I briefly had a small taste of management as a clinical coordinator, which I enjoyed, I feel I’ve become disillusioned to the leadership roles. There definitely are great managers and teams out there, but my fellow healthcare professionals out there will know how frustrating it can be to have the ones who are not. And even the ones who are great in leadership roles, are often limited to what they can realistically do within it. Operating within the healthcare system can be hard enough, but having to not only abide by but spearhead/enforce policies and practices that seem unnecessary and/or misguided? Fast track to hypocrisy and moral dilemmas!
When considering my options, I recognize that my greatest limitation is myself. I could venture into something different, whether an outpatient setting, leadership role, or go PRN/flex and try a different profession entirely (massage? health coaching? stay at home husband?!). Or I may just continue as a local traveler, hoping around hospitals within a 3/4 hour drive from home base and enjoying a month off every so often. What matters to me most is that I can maximize my time away from work, and if not enjoy work itself, at least tolerate it without letting it detract from my positive energy. Protecting my own peace is becoming more and more my primary focus, not just to be selfishly fixated on me myself and I, but(hopefully) to be of greatest service to others when needed.
